Monday, August 20, 2012

Where has the time gone?

My boys are starting 4th grade and 2nd grade tomorrow.  Sometimes it feels like they should be 4 and 2 again.  Where has the time gone?  My heart aches as I think back to the earlier days when I had two little boys running around the house- tomorrow I have two big boys entering another year of elementary school.

Matt- 3 years, Jake- 8 months (2005)
Beach 2012
So many questions run through my mind as I flipped through a photo album from their first few years of life.  Did I enjoy the moments or was I always busy "doing"?  Were they happy?  Was I happy?  We look happy but sometimes it feels like such a blur- it was so hard when they were so little.  Did I do enough- enough of whatever they needed at the time to develop into well-adjusted children?  We receive so little training on how to be a parent that at times the average mommy can feel very unequipped to do her job. 

Matt- 4 years, Jake 2 years (2006)
Beach 2008

I know you can't go back but if I could, what would I do differently? 
Clean less, play more.  Worry less, laugh more.  Be busy less, listen more. 

Be silly more!

But I am not through this journey called parenthood and I still have plenty of time to "do more" with these sweet boys.  Not entertain more or buy more or indulge more but really listen when they tell me a funny story, sit & play Legos even though I have many other things that I could do, read together every night and continue to kiss, hug and speak words of affection to their sweet little hearts. 

Beach 2010
I do not want to go back to the younger years- those of you in the thick of it know how difficult it can be- sleepless nights, dirty diapers, potty training, terrible twos tantrums, etc...  But what I will take away from the ache for yesterday is that I need to be more intentional to live in the moment.  The moments with our kids go by so fast and we can get caught wishing for the next stage to come.  Each day is a blessing- one that should not be taken for grant as is each stage of our children's lives.  Each stage has the good, the bad and the ugly but once that stage is done, we can never go back.  So savor each stage for what it is and enjoy your kids-  before you know it that journey will be over & they will be grown. 

Christmas 2011

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